What are these feelings?

Awareness and support of postnatal depression & post baby blues

Is your mental health something you have never had to worry about? Has postnatal depression ever crossed your mind?

You never for a second thought you would have an issue having children.

Is your mental health something you have struggled with in the past?

Though you think to yourself, I have always wanted children so I will be a lot better after baby arrives.

There are a multitude of things that can contribute to changes in your mental health, though I can only really talk from my experience. I am not a professional on the subject. Sometimes you mention your feelings to people and you get shrugged off, “Oh everyone feels like that at first, it’s just baby blues.”

IF YOU ARE CONCERNED SEE A PROFESSIONAL. YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS VERY IMPORTANT.

Your mental health is a strange thing. One minute you feel happy and fine, but then suddenly you feel heavy and unable to concentrate on what is in front of you. You start worrying about everything or nothing. Sometimes you cannot even grasp what it is that is the problem. Sometimes it doesn’t even feel like there’s a reason.

Don’t shrug it off

I suffered from depression on and off during university. While I was pregnant, I had the occasional intrusive thought when I was falling asleep, but overall, my mental health was stable. I was relaxed during my pregnancy and excited for the next chapter. The intrusive thoughts that plagued me during pregnancy were about losing my baby. For some reason, it was hard for me to accept that I would have a living, healthy baby. Once Nathan was born, the first few weeks, maybe a couple of months, were ok. I fell asleep quicker than I ever had before, not as many intrusive thoughts and this made me happy. Unfortunately, this did not last long.

Intrusive thoughts

Have you suffered intrusive thoughts? When do they usually strike? Have you figured out a way to stop them?

Since having children, all my intrusive thoughts have been about something happening to them. Having a baby is a significant life event that can trigger a range of emotions, especially for new mothers. I have found that these horrible thoughts just come out of nowhere and can be hard to get rid of. Most of these thoughts are about situations that would not happen, but they are scary and they are hard to brush away.

Postnatal depression

While it is common to experience some physical and emotional changes during the postpartum period, some women can experience a range of symptoms that indicate a more severe condition known as postnatal depression (PND). It is a treatable condition. However, if left untreated, it can severely impact a new mother’s ability to care for herself and her newborn, as well as lead to lasting emotional and psychological effects.

There are many reasons that postnatal depression can occur, such as hormonal changes, lack of sleep, personal and relationship issues, and the demands of caring for a newborn. Having postnatal depression does not make you a bad parent, it is not something you can control from happening.

Seek all help you need and start taking those steps to recovery.

Postnatal depression can develop in new mothers shortly after giving birth, or even a year down the line. Some women notice symptoms nearly straight away, whereas others might not experience symptoms until months later. Though there can be factors that can increase the risk, it is important to note that postnatal depression can happen to anyone, regardless of social status, race, or ethnicity. Therefore, it is essential to understand the symptoms, seek help when needed, and develop a plan for managing postnatal depression.

Symptoms

Symptoms of postnatal depression can vary, but they may include low mood, feeling overwhelmed, irritability, reduced energy levels, difficulty sleeping, changes in appetite and weight, loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed, and possibly difficulty bonding with your baby.

Getting Help

If you suspect that you might be suffering from postnatal depression, then please talk to your GP or midwife. They can help you with a diagnosis and how to move forward. Most women can make a full recovery with the right tools in place.

Treatments

One of the most common treatments for postnatal depression is therapy, which involves talking to a therapist about your thoughts and feelings. This type of therapy can help you identify the sources of your depression, improve coping skills, develop strategies to increase resilience and improve relationships.

Antidepressant medication is another option for postnatal depression that can help manage the symptoms. These can help alleviate some of the symptoms and can take a few weeks to start working. If you are breastfeeding do not forget to check whether your medication is compatible with breastfeeding. Check Here. Or with your GP. (However, some medications say not to breastfeed when they are safe.)

Find a support network

This is why having a good support network is essential to any new parent. They can help reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness, creating a sense of community.

Surround yourself with like-minded people, who will support you in your choices. Who will be there to hold your baby or tidy your house when you need that break? Who will understand that what you are going through is valid, and support you however you need.

How to take care of yourself

Looking after yourself can seem like an unreachable task with a new baby. Sit down with your partner or a close relative/friend, and discuss how you’re feeling and what you would like help with or time for. Exercise, healthy eating, and getting enough sleep can help improve mood and energy levels. Self-care activities such as meditation, yoga, or simply taking a bath or listening to music can also help reduce stress and promote relaxation. Anything that makes you feel like YOU, and not your child’s mum, can help in some way.

Being a parent is one of the most rewarding yet challenging experiences in life. You have brought this wonderful new tiny human into the world to love and cherish. However, you must deal with a lack of sleep, changes in your hormones, physical recovery, and emotional stress. As amazing as it is being a new parent, it can also be hard work, and it can be hard to find time for you.

Realising that you need time for yourself can fill you with guilt, but hear me out; you have no reason to feel guilty. Everyone needs time to themselves, to decompress and ground themselves.

Remember, self-care is not a luxury or a selfish act. It is a necessity and a responsibility. Taking care of yourself is not only good for your own health and happiness, but also for your baby’s well-being and development. When you are well-rested, nourished, relaxed, and fulfilled, you can be more present, patient, and responsive to your baby’s needs.

It can be hard to find time for yourself. I have listed a few ideas below:

Help

You don’t have to do everything by yourself. Ask for and accept help from your partner, family, friends, neighbours, or professionals. Whether it is cooking a meal, doing some housework, running an errand, or watching your baby for an hour or two, any help can make a difference. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to reach out and let others know what you need.

Schedule You-Time

I know it can be hard to find time for yourself as a new parent. You may feel as if you have no control over time as you tend to your child’s needs. However, try to set aside some time for yourself. Maybe start with 10-15 minutes a day, either while your baby is sleeping or someone else is watching them. Use this time to do something that makes you happy. Think about what used to relax you before your baby was here, and indulge. Whether that be reading, journaling, meditating, or having a bath. There is no right way, but the way that works for you. As you find something that works, increase the time. Maybe spread a couple of 15 minutes throughout the day, whatever it is that works for you.

Sleep

Sleep is so important for your physical and mental health, but as a new parent, it can be hard to come by. Try to sleep when your baby sleeps, even if it is just a nap during the day. I know this is not always possible with an older child. Maybe your partner can have the baby first thing in the morning so you can get that extra bit of sleep. If possible, go to bed early and avoid caffeine, alcohol, or screens before bedtime.

Healthy Choices

Eat well and stay hydrated. Remember, what you put in your body can affect your physical and mental health. It can affect your energy levels, mood, and recovery. Try to eat balanced meals and snacks that include protein, healthy fats, complex carbohydrates, fibre, vitamins, and minerals. Try not to skip meals or rely on junk food or sugar for a quick fix. Drink plenty of water throughout the day and limit your intake of caffeinated or alcoholic drinks.

Fresh Air & Exercise

Exercise is great for your body and mind. It can help you lose weight, tone your muscles, improve your circulation, boost your mood, and reduce stress. Exercise does not have to be strenuous or time-consuming. You could just go for a walk or a run, maybe even do some yoga. You can also exercise with your baby by using a sling or pushchair. Getting some fresh air and sunlight can also lift your spirits and improve your sleep quality.

Connection

Being a new parent does not have to be isolating. Join some local mums’ groups on social media, lots meet up in real life. Go to baby groups, even if your baby is asleep and talk to other parents. You will find that there are other people who feel like you.

Treat yourself

You deserve some pampering and indulgence as a new parent. Treat yourself to something simple but meaningful. Whatever it is that makes you feel good, do it without guilt or regret.

Conclusion

Sometimes becoming a parent isn’t all rainbows and butterflies, and this can be hard to accept. Find a support network as soon as you can. Get help as soon as you need it. Find time for yourself and self-care as a new parent. It may seem impossible at first, but it is not only possible but essential. You are not only a parent, but also an individual with your own needs.